Christmas is Canceled

2020 has been a dumpster fire pure and simple. Between being stuck at home for nearly a year, watching our favorite restaurants close, and dealing with the kids' virtual schooling, this year has sucked. However, compared to most, our year has been decent. Neither Christine nor I lost hours at work, we've been fortunate enough not to contract COVID-19, and the kids are doing amazingly in school. We even found time to spend together as a couple and as a family despite the many restrictions put in place.

For obvious reasons, we didn't travel back to NY this year. It's the first time since moving to Delaware over 9 years ago that we didn't make the drive at least once. While I was sad not to be able to go, we did have family visit here and there over the summer. We expected there to be a good chance of going up to NY for Thanksgiving or, if not that, at least having people visit over Christmas. First we had to cancel our NY trip. Then this week we made the very tough decision of asking people, who had already made travel and lodging reservations, not to come.

It was the responsible decision to make. It was the smart decision to make. It's a decision that has killed my Christmas spirit almost entirely. To complain about this is so selfish and dripping with privilege, but the feelings I have remain. I literally just posted about our Christmas traditions, and while we'll still do some of them, part of me doesn't see the point. Why bake the cookies when we can't really share them? Why plan the big meals when only three of us will realistically be eating them? Why bother with the gifts if we're just shipping them?

It's silly to complain, but this is not Christmas. Sure, I'll be happy ordering Chinese food on Christmas Eve and watching movies. It'll be fun to get up Christmas morning and watch the kids open their many, many gifts (if you are reading this and happened to buy them something this year, please pump the breaks next year because they have enough stuff). I'll bake the cookies because I like to bake them. There will be some more involved meals because we have to eat something.

Christmas will happen but it's not the Christmas I was looking forward to, or the one I think I deserved after this crappy year. I wanted a few days with family that I don't get to see often enough, but 2020 had to take that too. Maybe we should have not gone out to eat or not gone over to friends' houses or not done anything like many others choose not to. If I could go back and not do those things to get Christmas, I would in a heart beat. Christmas isn't canceled, but since it's 2020, it may as well be.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An Apology

Image
I don't want you to think that I stopped caring. Loss is an incredibly hard thing for all of us, but I especially struggle accepting the end of anything. When we think of loss, our minds immediately go to death because that's loss in its most permanent form but the end of anything can cause similar feelings. It could be the end of some sort of relationship (family, friend, work, romantic, etc.) or even a form of media like a television show or podcast. Obviously the latter examples aren't nearly as serious because they are designed to end, but one could argue that so are nearly all relationships.  We have this idea that once we know somebody and have any sort of connection to them beyond waving at a neighbor whose name you don't know, that there's an obligation to keep that relationship going forever. It's not realistic for this to be true for a long list of reasons. When the thing that brings two people together ends in some fashion, it's natural for that b...
Read more

Social Media Break

Image
I'm struggling right now. I'm searching for direction, trying figure out what I want to do in my life. I'm working on being a better person and want to get more fulfillment out of the work that I do. Instead of focusing and creating a plan, I spend way too much time on social media. It's easy to get lost in the lives of others, hilarious memes, constant "breaking news" updates, and the seemingly non-stop political coverage that is this time period's blood sport. So for at least the month of February, I'll be taking a break from Twitter and Facebook (they're the only platforms I use). I've already deleted the apps off of my phone in an effort to help break the chains, so to speak. The hope is that I better use the time that I used to spend just mindlessly scanning through those feeds. Other than using that time towards working out whatever it is that I'm going through right now, there are a bunch of other things that will easily fill...
Read more

September Wrap-Up

Image
The school year has begun so that means we're getting back into our regular routines. September did have some highlights, include a work trip that brought me to North Dakota for a two day conference and we saw a Taylor Swift cover band called Let's Sing Taylor as a family. Other than that it was a lot of gaming for me and not much else. This month is shaping up to be a busy one between both work and having plans nearly every day each weekend. This post will be shorter than most because we didn't have time to watch anything of note and I didn't come across any fun snacks to share. Blah Blog Log August 2024 Wrap-Up  - Lots of games, an ice cream contest, and a psychological thriller/supernatural horror film that I'm still thinking about. Bored  Board Games My third most played game in 2023, Kingdom Builder , saw 11 plays on BGA last month bringing it to 17 for the year. BGA still saw a majority of my plays, but more in person gaming days meant I played a lot more wit...
Read more